An XMas Carol
by Benji The Vampire Confuser
Summary: A retelling of the classic Charles Dickens tale, told by the X-Men.


**An X-Mas Carol**

**by Ben Church**

**The story of A Christmas Carol was written and conceived by Charles Dickens.**

**The X-Men belong to Marvel Comics.**

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* * *

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Eric Lenscherr was dead to begin with. As dead as a doornail.

The streets of New York were bustling with activity as last minute shoppers fought each other for their children's favorite toy. It looked as though a riot would break out but the local constable broke it up.

"Alright what's going on here?" he asked impatiently.

"Officer Bishop, I bought this Power Ranger doll, and now this guy is trying to steal it!" Logan yelled.

"That's a lie! I bought it fair and square, but the runt here just had to have it for his stupid adopted daughter!" Victor protested.

"And who did you want it for Creed? You don't have any kids!"

"Both of you shut up!" Bishop said. "Mr. Logan you said the doll was for Jubilee?"

"No, Creed said it. But yes that's who it's for."

"And who did you plan on giving the doll to Creed?"

"Tabitha."

"And you're absolutely sure this is the last one?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, look," Bishop said. "It's Christmas, let's just calm down and..." Bishop trailed off as a dark foreboding man floated by in his hover chair. Charles Xavier headed resolutely towards his office, ignoring the stares he was getting.

"I don't think that man ever smiled in his life." Victor said.

The wind picked up, signaling the arrival of yet another shopper. As Ororo Munroe landed, most of the people around her bundled themselves tighter, but Xavier did not.

Xavier liked the cold. He was hard, and sharp as a flint. Secret and self contained. As solitary as an oyster. As he went he harshly rebuked those who deigned to greet him.

"Merry Christmas sir." Forge said.

"Humbug." Xavier muttered.

"Happy Hanukkah sir." Kitty greeted.

"Humbug." he said a little louder.

"Happy Kwanza." Ororo called.

"Humbug!" he answered.

"Ole Bonanza barnacle." Guido grinned.

_HUMBUG!_ Xavier sent this last through the astral plane, shutting everybody up.

Finally he reached his destination. Though his partner, Eric Lenscherr had died seven years ago, the sign above his door still read "Xavier and Lenscherr: Moneylenders". It was too expensive to have the sign changed. Besides, it amused him when people inquired about the health of his partner.

He would answer, "Dead." and watch them squirm.

"Good morning Mr. Xavier." Scott Summers, his only employee greeted him. There was no heat in the building, so Scott was still bundled up in his coat and scarf. But despite all, he remained in good humor.

"Summers." he replied curtly. "Did you send out today's eviction notices?"

Scott allowed some sadness to enter his voice. "Yes sir I did."

"Good. Let us deal with tomorrow's then."

"But sir, tomorrow is Christmas!"

"Very well. You may gift wrap them." he handed him a long list.

Scott looked at the long list of people to be evicted tomorrow. He sighed with relief when he saw that his family was not among them. "Long list." he commented.

"Christmas is a very busy time for us Mr. Summers. Everyone is too busy spending money on foolish gifts for others to pay their mortgage. It's the foreclosure season Mr. Summers, harvest time for the money lenders." he smiled at his own joke.

After several hours of work, the monotony was broken by the arrival of Xavier's niece, Valerie Cooper, happily married to a middle class business man named Fred.

"Merry Christmas Uncle!" she said brightly.

"Christmas? Bah, humbug." Xavier said sourly.

"Christmas a humbug uncle?" she asked, still in wonderful humor. "You don't mean that, surely."

"I do." Xavier insisted. "What business have you with me?"

"Come to dinner with me and Fred tomorrow."

Xavier merely grunted.

"Oh come on, Uncle Charles-"

"What right have you to be merry?" Xavier interrupted. "You're poor enough."

"Well what right have you to be dismal?" she countered. "You're rich enough."

"If I could work my will," Xavier snarled. "Every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips, would be boiled in his own pudding, and buried with a stake of Holly through his heart!"

Valerie looked shaken at first. "Uncle! Very well uncle, you are welcome if you change your mind. I will keep my Christmas Spirit till the last. Good afternoon." As she left, she exchanged a merry greeting with Scott.

_There's another idiot._ Xavier thought with a sneer. _Less than five dollars a week and he makes merry. Christmas, Bah! Humbug!_

As the door opened with his niece's departure, he heard a voice from without.

"Le's try dis place Chere." Two people, a man and a woman entered his shop. The man wore a trench-coat and had red eyes. The woman was one of extraordinary beauty, with a streak of white in her hair.

"Hi ya'll suh!" the woman said brightly.

"Merry Christmas mon ami." the man said.

"Would everyone please stop saying that?" Xavier muttered. "What business have you with me?"

"Mah name's Rogue, and this here's Gambit. We're from the Salvation Army."

_Oh good lord._ Xavier thought.

"Y'see," Rogue went on. "During the Holidays we redouble our efforts raise money to buy the poor food, and warm clothing-"

"Well are there no prisons?" Xavier interrupted.

"Oui." Gambit replied. "Plenty o' them."

"Oh good." Xavier sighed with relief. "You had me worried for a moment."

"Well, as ah was sayin' can y' spare-"

"No. Good afternoon. I do not make merry myself on Christmas, and I cannot afford to make idle people merry."

"But-"

"My taxes go to help pay for the prisons. They cost enough, the poor must go there."

"But many would rather die m'suier." Gambit protested.

"If they'd rather die they better do it!" Xavier half shouted, rising from his seat. "And decrease the surplus population!"

"C'mon Gambit!" Rouge said angrily. "Let's go."

"Humph." Xavier grunted. "And good riddance too."

Once again, his work was interrupted. Two boys, one with green skin and one with pink skin stopped at his shop to regale him with a Christmas song.

Leech sang while Artie illustrated the song with his holograms.

_GET OUT OF HERE! _Xavier thought at them, and they fled in terror.

* * *

As the day wore on, Xavier began to feel better. No one else came to bother him, and he was left with the comforting sounds of pen scratching. Finally, the time came to close up the shop.

"I suppose you must have the whole day off tomorrow?" Xavier grumbled.

"Well," Scott stammered. "If it's quite convenient sir."

"It's not!" Xavier retorted. "If I were to dock you a day's pay, you would think it unfair. But no one seems to think it unfair for me to have to pay you for no work. And I don't care if it is only one day a year, it's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the twenty-fifth!"

Scott flinched away from Xavier, almost fearing he would be struck.

"Be here all the earlier the next morning."

Scott was so surprised at Xavier's relenting that at first he did not realize what had happened. "I'm sorry sir! I'll- What?"

"You heard me Summers." Xavier said as he left.

Xavier maneuvered his hover chair down the streets of New York. He soon reached the small building where he lived. He was the only person who lived there, all the other rooms had been let out as offices.

Now once again, Eric Lenscherr was dead. There can be no doubt about that. It is also a fact that there was nothing particular about the knocker on the front door. Xavier had seen the knocker every day for ten years. He had little to no imagination, and had not given a thought to Eric since gazing upon the sign on his office. He also did not sense any disturbance in the astral plane.

So let any man explain, if he can, how when Xavier went to unlock the door, he saw not a knocker but, "Eric's face!"

Eric's face. He looked no different than he did when he died, except that he looked strangely young, like a man of only twenty instead of fifty. Which was his age when he died. Xavier blinked, thinking that the vision would fade, but it did not. Finally, he dismissed it and unlocked the door.

But as he climbed the stairs, he cast about mentally, searching for any hint of a disturbance. Upon reaching his room, he closed and locked the door.

Having found nothing wrong with the astral plane in or around his house, he fixed himself a simple dinner and sat in his favorite chair in front of a crude space heater.

Suddenly, he thought he heard the distinct sound of chains being dragged up the stairs. And this time he could sense a slight ripple in the astral plane. It was a faint presence, and it was getting nearer.

Before Xavier's eyes, Eric Lenscherr walked through the door. As before with the knocker he looked younger than he should. But what caught Xavier's eye was the chain that he carried with him. It looked to be fashioned of various pieces of scrap metal. Xavier also noticed that he could see through Eric. Xavier's blood ran cold, but he refused to believe it.

"Who are you?" he asked stoutly.

"In life I was your friend and partner Eric Lenscherr."

"It looks like you, but it's humbug. Humbug do you hear me? Humbug!"

"Why do you doubt your senses?" the ghost asked sadly.

"Because anything can trick them. An illusionist, or a telepath, or even a bit of undigested beef. There is more gravy than of grave about you."

The ghost of Eric smiled. "Charles, you are the world's most powerful telepath. Search with your mind and not your eyes."

Xavier did just that. He cast about in the astral plane, desperately hoping to find some evidence of his claims. He found none. "So it's true. Why have you come to me Eric? And why are you lugging around that chain?"

"I carry the chain I forged in life Charles. It is the duty of every man and woman, human and mutant to go forth among their fellow men and spread whatever joy it is in their power to spread. If they do not do so in life, they are charged to do so after death. I forged this chain with my acts of greed and selfishness. You carry such a chain yourself. It was as long and heavy as this seven years ago. You have labored on it since."

"Humbug. Speak comfort to me Eric!"

"Comfort? If only I could my friend. You will be haunted by three spirits."

"Haunted? If you please, I've had about enough of that."

"Without these visits you can not hope to avoid the path I tread. Expect the first ghost tonight when the bell tolls one."

"Can't I just meet them all at once and get it over?"

Eric smiled once more, as he faded away. "Farewell Charles. We shall not meet again."

Moments after the shade had gone, Xavier felt an extreme exhaustion overcome him. He finished his meal, and went to bed.

* * *

It seemed no more than a minute since his head hit the pillow when the bell began to chime. It was one o'clock, and nothing had-

The room was suddenly filled with a bright light, and in the middle of the room there appeared, a child. It was a young girl to be exact. It was hard to tell her age, as she seemed to shift from one age to another. One minute she seemed only seven, the next she was an early teen. She had blond hair and her skin gleamed, as if she were wearing some sort of armor. In her hand she held a sword which glowed with an unearthly light.

"Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold me?" Xavier asked.

"I am." she said simply. He thought he could detect a hint of a Russian accent.

"What business brings you to me?"

"Your welfare."

Xavier smirked. "Well, I'm much obliged spirit, but a night's uninterrupted sleep would seem to be more conducive to my welfare."

"Your redemption then."

"Who are you?"

"I am the ghost of Christmas Past."

"Recent past? Or distant past?"

"Your past Charles. Come, we have much to see." She held out her hand to him, which he reluctantly took. She led him towards the wall, which mysteriously disappeared.

Xavier suddenly found himself in a brightly lit ballroom, decorated gaily for Christmas. "Why I know this room!" Xavier murmured. "I was an intern here! This is McCoy's genetics research center!"

"Oh my stars and garters ladies and gentlemen!" a kindly voice called from behind. "It looks like someone has gone and decorated the cafeteria! Tsk tsk, what shall we do now? I guess we'll just have to have a party!"

Xavier turned saw what looked like a big blue gorilla literally bounce into the room. Many people would have been startled to say the least at the sudden appearance of such a creature. But the occupants of the room raised their glasses and toasted to his health.

"What a man he was!" Xavier remembered fondly. "As intelligent a man that you would ever find but never would you find a man with a bigger heart."

"Wait!" McCoy said. "There's someone missing!" He exited the room quickly and was gone for several minutes. Finally he reentered dressed as Santa Clause. The children in the room immediately broke out into cheers and ran to their hero.

Xavier spotted a younger version of himself in a wheelchair accompanied by a woman he knew all to well.

"Santa doesn't have blue fur." he said smiling, amused despite himself.

"Don't be silly," Amelia said. "Of course he does."

After several minutes of revelry the room began to fade.

"Let us see another Christmas with this woman." the spirit said.

"Oh no Spirit!" Xavier pleaded. "Not that-" Too late.

The room faded into another in which a fierce argument was taking place.

"What happened to the kind geneticist I fell in love with?" Amelia asked.

"I'm still the same person I always was Amelia!" Xavier pleaded.

"No you're not! When I met you, you were a kind, giving man. Now you've become some money grubbing...Scrooge!" Amelia had two suitcases in her hands and now stormed out of the room.

"Amelia stop!" Xavier reached out with his mind and stopped her. An instant later he realized what he had done and released her, but it was too late to apologize. Amelia looked at him in shock, and then left. Xavier just looked after her, tears streaming from his face.

"Please spirit." Xavier begged. "Please, show me no more. Why do you delight in torturing me?"

"These are the shadows of what has been Xavier." the spirit said. "That they are what they are, do not blame me."

Before Xavier could respond, the spirit and the room faded away, and once again he found himself alone in his room. He looked bewildered for a moment, then sat fearfully. Eric had said there would be three spirits, but he had not told him when to expect the next one. Suddenly he heard loud raucous laughter coming form the next room.

He sprang to the door and flung it open. What he saw was not what he had expected. It was a giant. He stood at least seven feet tall, and wore brown armor. In one hand he held an enormous helmet, and in the other a huge drumstick, partially eaten.

"Ya gonna stand there all night Charley?" the ghost asked. Xavier hurriedly stepped into the room fearful of offending the spirit. It seemed short tempered. "That's better Chuck. I'm the ghost of Christmas Present. Now let's go check out how real people party." He stood, his head barely not touching the ceiling, and strode towards the wall.

Xavier expected the wall to fade away as it had for the other spirit. But instead he smashed through it and strode out into the yard. "C'mon Chuck!" the spirit called to Xavier, who was staring in shock at his demolished wall. "We ain't got all day!"

"Where are we going?" Xavier asked, hurrying to catch up.

"We're gonna visit a friend of yours."

"Friend?" Xavier snorted. "What friend?"

The spirit grabbed Xavier and held him up to his face. "Humor me."

"Oh, of course!" Xavier stammered.

Still carrying Xavier, the spirit broke into a run. Soon they reached an old tenement building in the poor section of town.

"What is this?" Xavier asked incredulously. "Who do I know that lives here?"

"Wait for it Charlie." In an instant, they were transported into the dining room of the house.

Inside, a beautiful red haired woman emerged from the kitchen with a small turkey. She set it down on the table and without turning around, telekinetically brought in two bowls. One filled with mashed potatoes, and the other with salad.

"Cable! Rachel! Dinner's ready!" Two people, who must have been the ones she had called to entered the room. The man looked at least forty, older than his mother. His left arm was made of metal and his left eye glowed. The girl looked much younger, and had red hair like her mother.

"I thought we were waiting for father." Rachel said.

"He and your brother are on their way up the walk." No sooner had she said this than the front door opened admitting Scott Summers and his youngest son, Nathan. As well as Alex Summers, his wife Lorna, and Domino, Cable's fiancé.

"Alex!" Jean exclaimed. "I didn't know you were coming!"

"Well Scott said he wanted it to be a surprise." Alex smiled.

"Well it certainly is! I hope we have enough food!"

Xavier was amazed. These people were happy despite their poverty. Suddenly, he noticed that Nathan's nose was bleeding, and he held his head as if he were in pain.

"Spirit, what's wrong with Nathan?"

"What? Oh, his powers are destroying him, and he'll be dead before he's twenty one. Well, see ya."

"Well that was abrupt." Xavier thought. "Wait Spirit! Is there no way to save the lad?"

"Not unless they can afford to hire an expert. Which they can't. Hint hint." The spirit smiled and put on his helmet. "But if he's gonna die, he'd better do it. And decrease the surplus population." With that, the spirit vanished, and Xavier found himself alone, in a churchyard.

The churchyard was gloomy, with a fine mist covering the ground. If Xavier had ever seen any horror movies he would have been reminded of them. Suddenly, he felt a powerful presence behind him. He turned slowly, fearfully to face the final apparition. It was a fearsome creature. It was twice as tall as the previous spirit, and was shrouded from head totoe in purple and red armor. No feature of it could be seen but two glowing spots that must be it's eyes. It gazed at him silently.

"Are you the spirit of Christmas yet to come?"

The ghost nodded, slowly. Xavier swallowed hard.

"I fear you more than any of the others, but I am prepared to follow, and learn. With a thankful heart." The spirit did not speak, but merely pointed Xavier towards a portal behind him. Xavier walked through it. He emerged from the portal into a cemetery. There was a funeral party there, mourning the loss of...

Xavier gasped when he saw that the family was the Summers family. He saw the name on the headstone, was that of Nate Summers. The spirit made Xavier watch the entire funeral. Made him see the anguish and despair on the faces of the people gathered. Then the spirit called his attention to another burial.

This one was cheap, and unattended. "Spirit," Xavier asked sadly, and with not a little fear. "Whose funeral is that, that he goes unmourned?"

The spirit brought him closer to the grave, and pointed to the head stone.

Xavier looked in shock at the name. Charles Xavier.

"No!" he cried. "It can't be! I'll change, truly, I will be kind to my fellow men! I-" Xavier woke up.

He gazed around the room in surprise. It was his room, in his house. Sunlight streamed in through the windows. "Was it a dream?" Xavier wondered. "I don't care if it was! It was the most instructive and enlightening dream I've ever had!"

He hopped joyously out of bed and into his hover chair. The floated to the window. He opened it and for the first time in many years, noticed how lovely the weather was. Then he saw two boys walking by his house. One had green skin, and the other had pink skin. It was the same boys that had been by his shop earlier.

"You there! Boy!" he shouted.

The boy looked up. "You talking to Leech?" he asked.

"Yes my boy! What's today?"

"Did Leech hear you right?" Leech asked incredulously.

"You most certainly did lad!"

"Today is Christmas!"

"Oh good! The spirits did it all in one night! They can do anything."

A picture of a coo-coo bird appeared above Artie's head.

"Listen! Do you know the butchers on the corner?"

Artie and Leech nodded.

"Good! What intelligent lads. Do you know the prize turkey?"

"The one twice as big as Leech?"

"Yes! The very one! Has it been sold yet?"

"No." Leech said.

"Excellent! Go and buy it for me!"

A picture of a coo-coo bird appeared above Artie's head.

Xavier chuckled. "Here!" He threw some money down. "Now go buy it for me!"

"Why do you suppose he kept shouting?" Leech asked Artie. Artie shrugged.

Xavier closed the window and got dressed in his finest clothes. "I'll take it to Scott Summers' house." he decided. "Oh I think I'm going to love Christmas."

When the two boys returned with the turkey, Xavier led them down the streets towards Scott's house. On the way he spotted two familiar figures.

"You there!" he called.

Gambit saw him approaching and quickly charged up a card.

"Oh there's no need for that my good man. I merely wished to give you this." He handed them a thick wad of bills.

Rogue stammered for a moment. "Ah, Ah don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything my dear." Xavier said. "A great many back payments are included in it I assure you."

Soon after, they arrived at the residence of the Summers family. Xavier had the two boys hide themselves and the turkey. Then he rapped sharply on the door. It was answered by Scott Summers himself.

"Mr. Xavier!" he said in surprise.

"Mr. Summers you were not at work this morning." Xavier said matter of factly.

"But sir you gave me the day off!"

"Oh, so I did." Xavier said as if he'd forgotten. "Well then I guess I'll just have to-" He suddenly found himself floating a foot in the air and facing a very angry Jean Summers. "Raise your salary." he said without missing a beat.

He snapped his fingers, and Artie and Leech brought forth the turkey. A now bewildered Jean set him down. "Would you care to join us?" She asked.

"Would that I could." Xavier said regretfully. "But I'm afraid I have a prior engagement. Oh Scott," he said before leaving. "It's come to my attention of your youngest son's health. I'd like you give this woman a call." He handed him a business card with the name Moira McTaggart on it.

"But sir, we can't afford this." Scott protested.

"You can now."

* * *

Valerie had just sat down after letting in the last guest when the door bell rang. "I'll get it." she said.

"Hello niece." Xavier said quietly.

"Uncle Charles!" she cried happily. "Come in! Merry Christmas."

"And a merry Christmas to you niece."

Xavier was as good as his word. And better. He became as good a friend, as good a neighbor, and as good person as you would ever meet. And to Nate, who did not die, he became like a second father. It was always said that if there was a man who kept Christmas well, it was him. May that be said of us all.

Mare egrets moose, panda hippo gnu deer.

* * *

Professor Charles Francis Xavier

as

Ebenezer Scrooge

Scott Summers

as

Bob Cratchitt

Nathan Summers

as

Tiny Tim

Eric Lenscherr

as

Jacob Marley

Illyanna Rasputin

as

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Cain Marko

as

The Ghost of Christmas Present

and

Onslaught

as

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

Also starring:

Dr. Valerie Cooper

Amelia Vogt

as

Belle

Hank McCoy

as

Fizziwig

Rouge and Gambit

as

The charity workers.


End file.
